Cheerfulmindhk Cheering for Dads Series Part 1: Love During Your Child’s Difficult Times
By Principal Wong Kwun Wa | 12-08-2016
I have two lovely daughters. My oldest is seven and just finished a tough first-grade year. My youngest is four, full of energy, and always makes people laugh. The oldest is quiet and thoughtful. She feels things deeply and thinks carefully before trying new things. The youngest is brave and jumps right in without thinking. Even though they are very different, my daughters have never thrown a tantrum. They are caring and think about others. When they are happy, they laugh out loud. When they are upset, they cry, then feel better after a hug. Even at such a young age, they can show their feelings clearly.
Unfortunately, my eldest daughter had a very hard time adjusting to first grade last year. Our family saw how the school’s pushy teaching and rushed lessons quickly destroyed her interest in learning and her confidence. She became more shy and less willing to try new things. Every day, I kept asking myself what education is really about. Does a first grader who doesn’t do well on a test have to fail for life? The school only cared about her grades, but I knew she was just having trouble adapting to a new environment. It was heartbreaking to see her cry almost every night before bed and every morning before school. A few months in, we also learned that during recess she often sat alone on a bench, quietly eating a snack and crying, instead of trying to make friends. At that moment, I felt heartbroken and helpless. Time seemed to stop, the world felt quiet, and all I could hear was her crying. My nose stung, my eyes blurred… I just couldn’t stop feeling the pain.
From the start, I always believed my eldest daughter could learn. I know education takes time and must happen step by step. At this stage, her personal growth and confidence are more important than grades. So I decided to let her be herself and learn at her own pace. Every day after work, my main goal is to help her regain confidence and love for learning. That means my “second job” starts after dinner—sitting with her to do homework and review lessons. While eating, I think about lesson plans; after eating, I quickly get materials ready. It’s harder than when I studied for my A-Levels, but I choose to go through it with her. I share her struggles, praise every effort she makes, and help her believe in herself. I want her to feel that even in school, she is not alone. We laugh together, talk together, and when it’s hard, we cry, hug, and comfort each other.
A year later, my daughter and I have both grown—not in big achievements, but in the trust and support we share. I’ve also realized that education is a long journey. The most important thing is helping a child feel confident, enjoy learning, and experience the joy of knowledge. Unconditional care, support, and encouragement are absolutely necessary.
Words from Dr. Iris Chau (Founder of Cheerfulmindhk) | Registered Psychologist
As parents, it’s very hard to see your child hurt—either in body or feelings—and feel like you can’t help. But never underestimate the power of love; it can turn tough times into strength and wisdom. When your child is struggling, listen to them and say things like Principal Cambe (Mr. Wong) does: “I know you’re not happy at school.” Give them lots of hugs and praise, and help rebuild their confidence. Later, when they look back, they will remember not just the hard times, but also that their parent stayed with them every step of the way.
By Principal Wong Kwun Wa (Part-time Lecturer, Hong Kong Baptist University; Former Principal of a Hong Kong Aided Primary School)
Original source: Cheerfulmindhk | Cheering for Dads Series Part 1: Love During Your Child’s Difficult Times
